Spread our madness:

Has your face ever melted off like it was made of wax? If not then you have never lived and also you have never died so maybe you just come out even steven as the kids like to say nowadays. You know what else those pesky kids like? They like music. They fucking play it out of their Sony™ Discman players. Don’t they care about their hearing? Fucking assholes. Anyway this probably what they play in their Discmen (is that a real thing?) AFTER THE JUMP CUNTS!

Spread our madness:

Hello fucks! Do you know who the fuck I am? I’m fucking Colonel Sanders. Yeah. That’s fucking  right. I’m dead. So dead. But I came the fuck back to life to write for the Walmer Convenience Musical Blog. You don’t even know what the fuck I’ve been up to! I’ve been making fried chicken for Jesus! He fucking loves it! Eats that shit every fucking meal. Motherfucker is fat as fuck now but he still gets all the bitches because he’s fucking Jesus! But whatever, I’m not here to talk about my boring life doing blow off of angel tits and having “cloud parties” (think of the dirtiest shit you can imagine and then multiply by 100). No, my job is to show the the songs that menat the most to me during my time on Earth. Sure most of these fucks weren’t born yet when I died but that’s not important. What is important is the music. Let’s fucking listen. AFTER THE FUCKING JUMP!

Spread our madness:

Hello everyone. My fucking name is Eddie Griffin. You might remember me from the fact that I played in commercial cinema films a number of years back. Now my job is to smoke cigars for money. I also like to listen to the soundclouds on the world wide web. There are so many things you can find if you like to surf it. It blows my mind sometimes like a spliff. Do you have any work for me? Can I get a light for my cigar? You want to smoke a spliff? I got some papers if you have some chrons. What are you talking about saying no? I saw you had some weed earlier. You sure you need to leave? What about these tunes? AFTER THE JUMP!

Spread our madness:

Hey bitches! What the fuck are you doing today? If you are in Canada then you should fucking vote because it’s super cool to do it! Like, only the most awesome swaggerrific people vote and that’s who you are. Right? That totally got you fucking motivated to vote. Anyway. That wasn’t even the fucking point of this post. We are just taken in by the magic of the political process. No. The point is to go to our Walm-Art event at the Port Gallery this Friday. Gonna be some amazing artwork and some fantastic music.

CLICK HERE TO ATTEND SIRS AND FUCKING MADAMS

Now, what music was made by fuckers recently? Maybe you will find some AFTER THE FUCKING JUMP!

Spread our madness:

When was the last time you shit your pants? 10 years ago? 15 years ago? 1 year ago? If you answered yes to the last one then you have a problem. You are either a baby, a homeless person or a human vegetable. If that is the case we ask: How did you manage to go on the internet, find this blog and be able to read it? You should not be able to do that. Science just won’t fucking allow it. Stop disrespecting science and get yourself a fucking job and a sense of respect.

Anyway maybe one of you will shit your pants tomorrow. Whoever shits their pants next and can prove it to us wins a full writeup on the Walmer Blog. You could get a write up as a dj or music producer or maybe as a janitor or as a person that stands on a bridge over the freeway yelling at cars. You could be a star. Music is after THE FUCKING JUMP…

Spread our madness:

Yo yo fuckers! This is fucking Pitbull here. I love to make crossover house hits. What is reggaeton? I don’t even know what that means anymore. Today I called up Benny Benassi and David Guetta and us three are gonna make a fucking new song for JERSEY SHORE: THE MOVIE and the fucking song will be called “Uno, Dos, Tres, Patrón™”. It’s gonna be slammin’. As you can tell, I’m a busy dude. I still find time to listen to the Soundclouds. Here are some I like AFTER THE JUMP:

Spread our madness:

Do you have nightmares? Is your life a nightmare? Do you cry everyday at all times even when you are on the toilet and your tears fall into your pee? That’s  fucking stupid. You need to get a fucking grip. You probably get upset over stupid shit like Angelina Jolie or which of your parents love you more (answer: they hate you the same). Let’s just drop this issue. Where’s the music? It’s AFTER THE JUMP!

Spread our madness:

Dillon Francis & Dj Ammo – Westside (zshare)

Do you enjoy having fun? Do you enjoy being happy? Well this is a song to party to. Don’t put on this song on if you are studying for a test or feel like diving into a book. You will do very poorly on that test. Unless it is a party test. In that case you would get very high marks. Top of the class. This might be a song you hear on a night you puke. You might hear it while you are doing a line of blow off a breast. Good times.