Archive for the ‘debonair samir’ Tag

SOUNDCLOUDS MADE FROM PEE   Leave a comment

Chris Tucker woke up in his apartment in the not great part of town. It was 1pm. That’s the time he woke up everyday. He hadn’t worked for 2 years so he never had to get up early unless it was to get his welfare cheque. Chris Tucker collected welfare now. Even though he always got more than enough sleep because of the fact that nothing was going on in his life, he still enjoyed having a cup of coffee as a pick me up to start his day. It just made it feel complete. It made him feel complete if only for a few minutes. As the coffee brewed he looked at the fading picture of him and Jackie Chan that he had stuck on his old refrigerator.

Those had been better times. He remembered all the bitches he had fucked as a tag team with Jackie. They had done it to build up their partnership so that audiences would love their chemistry. He remembered all the blow that they had done together in the trailer off of breasts in between takes. Jackie liked to do lines of blow between girl’s assholes and pussies. He called it “Getting from Point A to Point P” except when he said it it was in Chinese and shit. Chris Tucker stood there for 10 more minutes looking at the picture,  revisiting all the highs and lows he had had in his former career as an actor. The coffee maker made a beep and brought Chris Tucker back to reality. He poured the warm liquid into his favourite mug and took a quick gulp. As the coffee hit his taste buds it was all wrong, it had a very sharp taste almost like vinegar but salty and it stung his tongue. He pulled the mug away from his face and looked inside and made a startling discovery. It was not coffee at all in his mug. It was pee. Chris Tucker had just drank pee. Floating in the pee were soundclouds. GO GRAB THOSE SOUNDCLOUDS AFTER THE FUCKING JUMP TO KNOW WHAT CHRIS TUCKER EXPERIENCED!:

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BIG SOUNDCLOUDS IN LITTLE CHINA   Leave a comment

Enchanté! Karl Lagerfeld taught me that that’s how motherfuckers say “Hi” in Germany. Crazy eh? By the way, I’m noted American thespian Curtis James Jackson III. Hahaha! Friends, Romans, Countrymen! Lend me your ears! That’s acting! That’s how you do it! I live in fucking Connecticut now! Grey Poupon fuckers! I just eat a whole jar of that shit to show how rich I am. Use that shit as fuckin moisturizer too. Fuckin burns my fuckin face. I feed lobster to my dogs. I drive around the fuckin golf course in a Cadillac. That my fuckin golf cart. I have to pay for the whole golf course to be replanted with grass every time I play. That’s my fucking life. Don’t wear it out. Fuck yeah. Check out these fucking songs AFTER THE FUCKING JUMP!

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HELLCLOUDS & FUCKCLOUDS   Leave a comment

Well, gonna try to put up as much shit as possible since shit is gonna get crazy starting tonight. Djing and working a day job. It’s a win-win-lose. We can’t always be internet stars all the time. We have to get down from our ivory fucking virtual tower and walk among the people. See what you fuckers see. Taste what you taste. Turn you onto the dark side with speeches like this:

Basically, how are we gonna meet your mom and make you the little brother (or sister! right ladies?) you always wanted if we are not out there djing and impressing her and making her vagina damp. Maybe we will play some of these songs for her. GO GET THEM AFTER THE JUMP CUNTS!

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THE SOUNCLOUDS WILL BLEED YOU   Leave a comment

You’ve been warned. Soundclouds are no joke. They’ll hunt you. They’ll find you. This ain’t no fuckin game. You been playin’ Scrabble to long. You shook! R.I.P. Nate Dogg. Heaven just got better hooks. MUSIC AFTER THE JUMP!

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SOUNDCLOUDS FROM THE LOST TEMPLE OF PUNANIA   Leave a comment

Behold! The treasures we found deep in your mom’s pussy in the jungles of the Orient:

Cottonmouth – Meat Locker (Released on Dub War Recordings – 31/01/2011)

DJ Hipnotikk – Wild Out (Illgates & Subvert vs Broke & J-Roc)

Mollys Lips (DJ SOLO REMIX)

Samira -World Tour Bmore Gutta

Kanye West – Dark Fantasy (Figure Bootleg)

Munchi ft M.I.A. – Murder Sound VIP

SO LIVE, WE BRING THE DEAD BACK TO LIFE!   Leave a comment

Are you a dead person? Do you want to come the fuck back to life? Then go the fuck to this. Hard beats, free vodka treats and the handsomest djs in the western hemisphere. Your mom might even find love that night if you bring her. Tunage:

Swizz Beatz ft Debonair Samir-Im cool

Mastiksoul & Gregor Salto – Toca Bunda (Zombies For Money Bootleg Rework)

Big Tymers – Still Fly (Wick-it Drumstep Remix..)

THE CRAZY WORLD OF MOOMBAHTON   Leave a comment

There is a new world emerging in music: THE WORLD OF MOOMBAHTON!

The Dirty Frenchman can’t get enough of it. All he wants to do is smoke fat blunts and spin moombahton and watch girls rub up on each other. It’s his new favourite pass time. It should be America’s pass time. Fuck baseball! Baseball is for fools. Anyway. We’re gonna give you the rundown of the best moombahton out there right now so you can talk to your friends and be like “Let me tell you about this smashing new dance craze that’s sweeping the nation.”. And you can make mix CDs for girls so you can try to fuck them. Maybe it will work. Maybe not. Another dry spell.

Dj Apt One vs Debonaire Samir – Samir’s Island (zshare)

This song is like some kind of moombahton panty dropping machine. While this song plays, and you walk across the dancefloor, it is like walking through the forest in the fall and the ground is covered with leaves. Except it’s not covered in leaves, it’s covered in panties. That is what we have to say about this song.

Steve Starks – Lydia (Nadastrom’s Moombahton Remix) (zshare)

This is like a song that you play when you want to cool things down a bit. It’s a serious song for when you want to grind seriously with a girl. No smiling. It’s deep. It’s a remix by Dave Nada (aka Nadastrom) who apparently invented moombahton and there is some crazy story behind it that we don’t care about.

Munchi – Pero Que lo Que Mujer (zshare)

We’ve talked about Munchi before. We’ve talked about how he’s ruining the life of The Dirty Frenchman. Look at his fucking website! He’s like some fucking machine sent back in time from the future to make crazy tunes. He just makes crazy tunes like it’s breathing. When we dj we try to go from slow bpms of dancehall and hip hop up to faster shit like electro and uk funky and now we don’t even succeed sometimes because we get stuck on a moombahton tip and it’s mainly Munchi’s fault. We put up this one song but we could have put up so many of them. He says he made this song in minutes. It’s kinda insane. We don’t know what to do.

Heartbreak – Pilulas Azuis e Brancos (zshare)

David Heartbreak came to our attention when Munchi sent us an email about his Moombreakton EP that they made together. We are glad that that happened because this guy is throwing down some fire as well. As Munchi describes this song “It’s like your stuck in the zone and you can’t get out, but do you really want to get out?” It’s true and that zone sounds to us like it’s some fucking kind of Jupiter party shit. Space brazilians.

JFK & St Mandrew – Beehive (Epidemic Moombahton Remix) (zshare)

This is some pretty wild shit too by Dj Epidemic who seems to be pretty prolific himself. We’re kinda sick of describing things now so we’ll just end off by apologizing for the meagre posting. But we made it up to you by dropping all these tracks so shut up and make that mixtape so you can maybe get laid. Plus we got a lot of new things in the works so look out Toronto cuz Walmer is here.

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