Archive for the ‘bashment’ Tag

THE RETURN OF SOUNDCLOUDS   2 comments

Hey bitch suckers. What the fuck is going the fuck on? What the fuck has gone wrong with this place? Are we some kind of legitimate blog or something that posts actual releases by fuckers instead of just a fucking bunch of soundclouds with swearing and stills from stupid 1980’s films? NO! We are not. We are just a bunch of fucking hacks who don’t do any fucking analysis and say stupid shit and generally bring down the ART and SCIENCE of musical blogging. Music blogging is obviously the most noble of mostly unpaid professions. Anyway. Let’s just stop talking about that stuff and focus instead on music and your mom’s pussy. The most important things. LET’S FUCKING DO THIS AFTER THE JUMP CUNT LICKERS!

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THE RAIN OF SOUNDCLOUDS AND PUSSY   Leave a comment

Sometimes you have to listen to soundclouds and sometimes you have to pee. That is the choice of life. You can listen to soundclouds with pants that have been warmed and moistened by urine or you can make you way to the bathroom. There is no compromise. Life is a struggle. Have any of you ever been at job and tried like fuck to get ahead and then promised that you would and then they tell you that you were promoted but it’s a fake promotion where you just get a title and then you have to do the same job? That’s what the fuck happened to The Dirty Frenchman just 15 minutes ago. The true definition of bloodclaat bullshit. Let’s all pee our pants and enjoy some music AFTER THE FUCKING JUMP PUSSIES!

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SOUNDCLOUDS WAITING FOR THE FUCKING TRAIN   Leave a comment

Hey cunts for brains! It’s a fucking Monday! Aren’t you happy to go back to your pitiful work lives! Haha! It’s fucking happy time! Go shoot yourselves in the head! Anyway. Still so many soundclouds of goodness falling into our ears. Too many. People need to stop making so much good free music. Make bad expensive music like LMFAO or Ke$ha. They know how to make fucking money in this biz. Those should be all your role models. Make note of that aspiring musicians and producers. in the meantime take peoples free shit AFTER THE FUCKING JUMP!:

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SOUNDS OF FUCKIENCE   Leave a comment

Someone constructed a rocket to go into your mom’s vagina. Many prototypes were tested. Most failed. Only the last one made it. It discovered these soundclouds. Have you heard them? LISTEN TO THEM AFTER THE JUMP!

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JUST HAVING FUN MAKING MUSIC IN A SAFE ENVIRONMENT   Leave a comment

Posted May 3, 2011 by walmerconvenience in Uncategorized

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WELCOME TO WALM-ART   1 comment

Check it out cunt mouths! We got another party in the pipes! ART PARTY! Some of the best damn visual artists in Toronto are coming together at THE PORT GALLERY (1179 Dundas West) on MAY 6TH.

THIS IS GONNA BE SOME BIG BOX ART WITH SOME CHEAP BOOZE AND NO COVER BEFORE MIDNIGHT!

PRESENTING THE ART OF:

HANS POPPE

YOKE

MEDIAH

BOBBY LAWN

And of course music provided by:

WALMER CONVENIENCE (DANCEHALL. RAP. BASS. MOOMBRO TUNES. DRUMSTEP. ASSORTED DANCE MUSIC)

CLICK ATTENDING ON THE FACEBOOK INVITE HERE!

WE ALSO HAVE FUCKING MUSIC AFTER THE JUMP! MAYBE WE WILL PLAY IT. MAYBE WE WON’T. YOU HAVE ENOUGH DISAPPOINTMENT IN YOUR LIVES!

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TAKE THESE SONGS AND CALL US IN THE MORNING FUCKERS   Leave a comment

This train is you life. The building is your dignity. Your life smashes through your dignity. What does that mean? Does it mean that one of your family members will eventually live in a trailer park? Does it mean that one day CSIs will be asking for your bodily fluids? Maybe it just means that you’ll live a normal life working at Ikea helping people to obtain and construct affordable furniture. Maybe you should just listen to these songs AFTER THE JUMP…

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