Hi! My name is Osama “Rusty” Bin Laden. You may remember me as a terrible person who did the worst things but I’d like to be commemorated as a passionate baseball player. You better fucking believe it. I love the game. The smell of fresh cut grass, the drama of the ninth inning. Can you think of a better sport. I will miss it up in heaven. Yup, I got to heaven. Shit’s unfair. You know how we tell suicide bombers and other terrorists that you get 7 virgins in heaven and all that other crap. Well, turns out it’s true. I still have many other regrets though. I never got an iPad 2™ and I never got to write the great novel I always thought I had in me. The other thing I will miss is the soundclouds. Like these AFTER THE FUCKING JUMP!