Archive for April 2011

THE SOUND THAT FUCKS THE CRADLE   Leave a comment

There are so many songs in the world that sometimes we just want to go crazy. It’s like American Beauty except it should be called Canadian Beauty and it should star us instead of Kevin Spacey and some has-beens (or just all has-beens). Whatever. Relax. Play some music. Do a line of blow off a breast. Take a chill pill. Take a fuck pill like the viagras. Want some tunes? THEY’RE AFTER THE FUCKING JUMP PERVERTS!

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BALTIMORE MIXTAPE MYSTERY   Leave a comment

Hello, this is Oscar™ Award winning actor Tomathy Hanks. I have won many things in my time from the chance to take a hellride to the moon to the opportunity to make fat stacks of cash pretending to be other people. It’s a living. Anyway, I have been asked to present for the  Walmer Convenience Musical Blog the mixtape of an amazing disc jockeying legend from the United States of America. WHO THE FUCK IS IT? FIND OUT AFTER THE FUCKING JUMP!

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Posted April 28, 2011 by walmerconvenience in Uncategorized

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THE MEDIA IS OUT OF CONTROL   1 comment

Posted April 27, 2011 by walmerconvenience in Uncategorized

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THE MUSIC SOUNDS BETTER WITH YOUR MOM   1 comment

Hey bros! What a gwaan? How’s your mom doing? Is she good? We tried to call her but she wouldn’t pick up. We left a message. Is she still upset about the thing? We just weren’t ready for the commitment she wanted. We still have so many things that we feel we need to accomplish before we settle down.  And, well, let’s admit it, we just aren’t ready to be a dad to you. It’s too much pressure. Sorry. MUSIC AFTER THE FUCKING JUMP!

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NEVER FORGET TORONTO: APRIL 29TH @ THE CRAWFORD AND MAY 6TH @ THE PORT   1 comment

DID YOU DRINK ALL THE SOUNDCLOUDS DURING EASTER?   Leave a comment

Hey kids. Wassup? Phillip Seymour Hoffman here. Relax ladies, I’m taken. I wanna take a moment to talk to you about respect. That’s right. I understand it’s tough to be a teen nowadays. Hell, I grew up on the wrong side of the tracks and I’ve seen and, yes, done a lot of shit in my day. Just like you I’ve had to mix paint chips with chocolate milk to make mouth wash. Just like you I had to sell my sister for toilet paper again and again. No one gave me any breaks. We never had chocolate eggs during Easter. No, we had to eat real eggs. And not in the way you think. When the Easter bunny would bring us eggs it would be our parents taking the eggs out of the ovaries of an actual bunny. I know the same thing happens to you kids all the time. Life is hard. Here’s some cool tunes for you guys to listen to. To help you forget the hardship. AFTER THE JUMP!

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DA CYPHA   4 comments

Remember rap music? We have videos for it..

New Yayo and Mobb Deep, Body Bag…these fuckers about to go hard in the paint…

More shit after the jump yo..

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YOU FUCKED THE SOUNDCLOUDS   6 comments

BOOOOOOOYYYAAAAAHHHHHHH! This is William Gary Busey here but you can call me Billy Busey or better yet Gary Busey but don’t call me late for dinner. Get it? That’s a total laugh out loud. You know? Internet speak? The Walmer Conveniences blog has asked me to tweet to you the music that moves the soul within my body. Have you ever listened to music before? It sticks the penis of sound into your ears and and makes you have feelings. The sound then ejaculates into you senses and impregnates your body with music. This is called rhythm. Do you get it? When the baby of feelings is born, that’s when you know the song really hit you. Will you have the baby of these songs? Does your brain have ovaries? Science. I’m not gay. LISTEN TO THEM AFTER THE JUMP:

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PARTY TIME IN NEW YORK CITY WITH MOVADO   Leave a comment

Are you a star bwoy too?

Posted April 25, 2011 by walmerconvenience in Uncategorized

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IF YOU DON’T WANNA DIE THEN JUST PUT THIS SONG ON   Leave a comment

Posted April 25, 2011 by walmerconvenience in Uncategorized

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