WHAT WOULD YOU DO FOR A SOUNDCLOUD BAR?   Leave a comment

Blazaaaaaaaaamm! Carrot Top in the hizzzzzzzzaaaaaay! The copper top is here to write for the Walmer Blizzzoog about the soundclouds that have changed my life more than cocaine and Amped energy drink (and roids). You can be sure that this post is gonna be total FTL, that’s famous talk for “for the ladies”, basically just like Carrot Top. LET’S DO THIS! JUST FUCKING YELLING CUZ I’M GETTING HYPED! One sec. Wait for it. OH YEAH! CLICK READ MORE! CRUSHING IT!

Bubbelgum (Original Mix) (reuploaded)

This is like the song that was playing when I had started my new clothing line Vitamine A Board Wear. Check it out:

Yeah! Get em’ now so you too can be like the Topeezy! Because every one just wants to be like Carrot Top right? Everyone just wants a peice! YOU CAN’T HAVE ALL OF CARROT TOP! LEAVE SOME FOR ME! FUCK! I said I was gonna keep it together this time. Come on Topper. Alright I’m just gonna do a few lines of my favourite medicinal mixture: Blow and Roids. Listen to the next song in the meantime:

Johnny Cash – Personal Jesus (Gooffee Remix)

Oh yeah. That blow and roids was sweeeet. You want some? Ha ha. More for me. What did you think of that last tune? What? No way. For me it’s like the time I went to a gala with A FUCKING RABBIT AS MY DATE!

No one loves a carrot more than a rabbit! When I got the idea I was soooooooo stoked. When I got there no one laughed though. I was all like “See? Get it?” and people just thought I was weird and when I got home that night I was so pissed AND THE RABBIT DIDN’T EVEN HAVE ANY FUCKING EASTER EGGS INSIDE LIKE ARE YOU FUCKING KIDDING ME? NO ONE GETS ME! RABBITS LET ME DOWN! Sorry dudes. That’s just the power of the blow and roids kicking in. I’m gonna go do my usual and pour out half a two litre of Coke and pour in some Bacardi Limon. That usually takes the edge off. You want me to make you one?

Paris Luanda (Sabo Moombahton Remix)

That song is like when I premiered my new wine brand called Carrot Juice in Las Vegas last year:

Everyone was like “Topeezy, great tie in. Such a natural branding move.” And I was like “It’s wine.” And they were like “I don’t get it.” So I went to a strip club after because, you know, I appreciate the art and I was trying to maybe bring some chicks home and…and…zzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz. WHOA! HUZZAH! Wow, fuck, I dozed off there. I think the booze is making me pass out. I’m gonna go do some more blow and roids or bloids as i like to call them. Sure you don’t want any? More for me then.

I’d Rather – Three 6 Mafia (Skrubz Remix)

What’s that? Why are you looking at me like that? You think I look like your crazy middle aged aunt who gives you nightmares don’t you? YOU FUCKING STOP LOOKING AT ME! I’LL FUCKING KILL YOU! I HATE YOUR EYES! AHHHHHHHHHHHH! Whoa. Ok. Relax Topper. I’m sorry. I had too much. I think I’m gonna take a roofie just to chill the vibe out for a little bit. You want one of those? No? Lame.

Canjika (Sabo’s Amtrak Edit)

Fuck man. I’m too fucked. I’m gonna pass out. Here’s the other songs. Fuck. I’m gonna puke.

Yakuba (NEKI STRANAC Edit) – Mastiksoul

Sinden & SBTRKT – Seekwal

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