FUCK FI DI PUM PUM: THE OBSCURE VYBZ KARTEL STORY   Leave a comment

We have done an exposé of Vybz Kartel before, a long time ago. Before many of you were born. But that is apparently not enough. With oil filling up the oceans and 2012, the end of the world, fast approaching it is important for us to ensure that his important work, nay his gift, be available to the aliens that come and uncover our underwater cities. We are ready to boast that none of you have heard these songs. They are from deep in the Walmer archives deep in the bowels of Walmer Castle:

Vybz Kartel – Fuck Fi Di Pum Pum (zshare)

Yes. Before he was the face of Clarks shoes, Vybz Kartel was just a simple man like many who put his pants on one leg after the other and wanted to fuck pum pum.

Vybz Kartel – Can Cook (zshare)

What is more natural than to take the tune from this song:

And make it about how you just want a woman who can cook. That is is important. Right guys! Broads need to know their place. Chauvinism. Moving on:

Vybz Kartel – Pussy Noo Big (zshare)

The other thing that is for sure and that girls need to be aware of is that their vagina is the right size and that song just nailed it on the head. It’s called being courteous. Oh yeah, and they should try to avoid having HIV. That has been known to be a deal-breaker.

Vybz Kartel – Mek Mi Cum Inna You (zshare)

More songs and just more wisdom. Just like the picture above shows, Vybz Kartel is for the children. If your pussy is clean, then there is no reason to use a condom in you ladies. These days that is something to think hard about as we face potential environmental disaster. Every resource is precious. Bring your own bag to the grocery store. Try to turn the air conditioning down.

Ok. That’s enough.

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