The wars of the future will be fought over which brand of ugly shoes is best   Leave a comment

Eppie Rebel ft Dannell – Kickers (Clarks Counteraction) (zshare)

Salon-de-Provence, France in the year 1551:

As the sun began to set on another day, Nostradamus sat down at his lucky writing desk to begin another chapter in his book of prophecies. Fall was coming, and he could feel the cooler air coming in through a nearby window. Nostradamus didn’t mind though. He always liked to think that the cold air helped him to think. Helped him to see the future.

As was his habit, Nostradamus closed his eyes and like a movie, his visions began (this simile works because Nostradamus knew about movies because of seeing the future you know?). He saw strange things that his mind was not prepared for. He saw a raging battle between two armies. He felt confused at first because there seemed to be no distinction between the two sides. As he looked on, inside his mind, Nostradamus began to understand what separated these two sides in a war that was engulfing every nation in every corner of the globe. It was their footwear. These people loved their footwear so much they were willing to write songs, many songs and even would modify their pants to show off these strange clogs. They would even hold events to show how they would cut their pants:

It was too much for Nostradamus. As the visions continued, anyone looking on would have noticed his face going from red to a deep purple. Sweat was streaming down his temples and he began to emit a groan. He could not understand it. Why did they care so much about their shoes? What was more baffling, is why they cared so much when the shoe-makers didn’t care at all about them.

All of a sudden, Nostradamus fell off his vision chair and it was not without a great deal of relief that he saw the familiar surroundings of his study. What a strange world the future was. How frightening.

PS – A million points will go to anyone who actually attended the party that that flyer was for.

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