Archive for March 2010

STO’S FAVOURITE AND LEAST FAVOURITE SONGS   2 comments

South Rakkas Crew Ft Serocee – Rise (zshare)

Red Rat – Spooky (zshare)

We all know about The Dirty Frenchman and that he’s just a modern day Roman Polanski. Plan B is the biggest jew you’ve ever met, in every sense. But what about Sto? “What is his deal?” you may ask. Well he is one of the greatest generals in the Walmer Army, an army made up of only generals because it is an army of three people. And he likes music. Sometimes dancehall music. If you listen to the first song you will understand what makes him happy and if you listen to the second song you will discover what makes him spit on a grave. The worst thing really is that this the second post featuring Red Rat and only the first featuring South Rakkas Crew. What kind of a blog is this? Look at that picture of Red Rat? He just looks like the worst! He is like the Carrot Top of dancehall. Look at this:

and this:

He looks like he went to Creepy Clown Child Rape University.

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OLD SONG OF THE DAY: OHIO PLAYERS – FUNKY WORM   1 comment

Ohio Players – Funky Worm (Zshare)

Ahhhh, springtime. Fewer clothes, sallow skin and joie-de-vivre. This is the kind of joint you bump in your whip with the heat up and the windows down. When it’s still kinda cold for that shit but who gives a fuck cuz the solo makes you wana let other people hear it. A musical donation…An altruistic move to those in traffic around you. Springtime is the time for giving.

STICKY SITUATIONS   1 comment

Lady Chann – Sticky Situation (Toddla T Remix) (zshare)

Being caught by your mom having sex with her wife is a sticky situation. Having your condom break is a sticky situation. Having your condom break when it’s full of heroine and you swallowed it and you’re on a plane over Nicaragua is a really sticky situation. Don’t do drugs. Lady Chann is some British chick that does dancehall-ish uk funky stuff that is not bad. Toddla T wins awards for his electro-dancehall/ soca-ish ball of stew with a side of punani. Whatever that means. What else does Lady Chann do with her life? Let’s see:

She lays down in the straw with her tits in her hands

She lives in a world of natives, dancing and cooking. (This song is sick though)

And that’s it!

WE LOVE PUSSY!!   2 comments

A1 Bassline – We Love Pussy (Zshare)

Well the title isn’t exactly a revelation or anything but it’s the name of the song of the day and we thought it would be funnier if we just put that instead of OBVIOUSLY TITLED SONG OF THE DAY: A1 BASSLINE – WE LOVE PUSSY, makes sense right? It’s pretty hot with an old school garage/ravey feel to it and some bmore elements to it as well. Its best feature is that it’s got a pretty huge build and then drops kinda insanely but the dope part is that it just repeats PUSSY PUSSY PUSSY PUSSY over and over again throughout the track and we like that kind of thing, overt proclamations of one’s love for pussy. Mmmm, pussy. Anyway, we digress, if you enjoy this song the dude who does it has a bunch more hot ones but you can find em yourself..

Posted March 21, 2010 by walmerconvenience in Uncategorized

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CROOKERS COPY MAJOR LAZER   Leave a comment

Crookers ft Poirier and Face-T – Arena (zshare)

Hey guys! Do you like Major Lazer? Great! You’ll love this song then. Crookers did their best to make it so that if you heard it you’d be like “Hey guys this new Major Lazer song is soooo fresh!”. And then everyone would be like “You spend to much time with your cat. This is Crookers.  Go eat your own ass with cinnamon toast crunch on it.”

It makes sense though. Crookers are just trying to stay famous. They’re like electro Ke$has.

Their album Tons of Friends is like “Let’s take whoever has a moderate amount of buzz around them lately and grab onto their coattails and hang on for dear life”. So they team up with Ghislain Poirier for this song who is for now the more budget friendly Major Lazer (but is just as talented).  It’s difficult because the music is not a steaming pile of garbage. A few of the songs are actually quite awesome. It’s more the idea of it that sucks. For example, there is another song that is Crookers and Drop the Lime. We think it’s more Drop the Lime with Crookers’ name on the lable.

Fuck! Look at the cover art of the album. Even that is Major Lazeresque. Enjoy your first and last album Crookers.

We’ll still play this song because it’s good. If people ask us who it is we will say “Some assholes”. Do a line of blow off a breast in disgust to this song.

T.O.K. vs RISHI ROMERO – DEFENSE vs AFRICAN FOREST (MYCON DEEP REFIX)   1 comment

T.O.K. vs Rishi Romero – Defense vs African Forest (Mycon Deep Refix) (zshare)

This ain’t dancehall but it ain’t not dancehall. This is the kind of dancehall the Aztecs would have made if they were Jamaican. Whoever Mycon is, he needs to be captured and entombed in a vault at the bottom of Mt Vesuvius because he makes music that would be dangerous if it fell into the wrong hands like the Soviets or the Red Chinese. Yeah, that’s right we talkin’ Cold War style mothafuckas! But seriously folks, this song is just one big buildup to madness. Not even smallpox or muskets can stop it. How can you defeat a song that has so many “vs” in it’s title? If you don’t watch the fuck out it will be T.O.K. vs Rishi Romero vs You bitch!

And just in case you had not gotten your daily recommended booty shaking intake here is some classic T.O.K. to help you to meet your dietary requirements:

SONG OF THE DAY: ANDREW AND WADA BLOOD – IRIE   Leave a comment

Andrew and Wada Blood – Irie (Zshare)

The Dirty Frenchman plays this song lots. This is the conversation that ensues..

Plan B – Is this Leftside/Esco/Mr Evil?

The Dirty Frenchman – Nah, it’s Andrew and Wada Blood

Plan B – Fuck, it’s fire…and Wada Blood’s a gangster/hilarious name…

The Dirty Frenchman – Yeah, Wad of Blood…

Both Laugh

And then they smoke another one.

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