Archive for January 2010

OBSCURE DANCEHALL VIDEO PARTY!   1 comment

After making fun of Pamputae in this Charly Black video because we didn’t know who the fuck she was and her name was funny (yeah, it’s fucking funny) we decided to explore the fascinating world of B, C and D list dancehall stars. So here it is, the dancehall video party featuring only people that you are likely not to know. Enjoy and drink responsibly. We will not be coming along with you for the ride with our witty commentary.

CHAT PATOIS!   1 comment

Charly Black – Chat Patois (zshare)

Can you chat patois? You probably can’t because you’re white. You’re all like “Pardon me papa. I know not what those Jamaicans are saying over there.” It’s ok to be white. The Dirty Frenchman is white and only half the people he meets think he’s a fucking idiot. There are lots of important white people like Jay Leno and George W. Bush who have risen to the top of their professions without uttering a single “pussyhole” or “chi chi man”. It’s not too late to be like them. Or you can be like Charly Black, who you admire like the uncle that never respected the way you dress. You could make this classic:

You could play yourself on Wednesday April 29th 2009 and feature stars like Pamputae(?) and Jigzagula(?). Or you could make this:

You could make all your songs about how you’re gonna get money. No not really. Because you would also make this banger:

THE REVENGE OF SCHLACHTHOFBRONX   6 comments

Schlachthofbronx – We Run This (zshare)

This song rocks your mom so hard she had a miscarriage. Schlachthofbronx are like “Yeah, we made a song so awesome that you aren’t gonna have a baby brother anymore.” Looks like you’ll still be the favourite. In other news, they have another song out too that kills it an is responsible for a shitty video:

Not even good shitty. But good song.

HAITI   Leave a comment

Going through our extensive music coffers it occurs to us that we don’t play much from Haiti on a regular basis. Yes, we play some French music, one of us being french, but a French lyric does not a Haitian song make. For everyone there going through the worst shit imaginable if there’s a redeeming factor it’s that everyone’s finally paying attention. For everyone else, rest in peace.

Haiti hold ya head.

Posted January 20, 2010 by walmerconvenience in Uncategorized

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SONG OF THE DAY: EL REMOLON – MODESELEKTOR vs CALLE 13   Leave a comment

EL REMOLON – MODESELEKTOR vs CALLE 13 (zshare)

This is the reggaeton song that will play when your plane crashes in the Arctic and you are scrambling to do anything you can before you die of exposure. Yes. Usually we are all about party time at Walmer but this is a nice little change. It’s ok to be serious sometimes.  It’s ok to wear glasses and talk about the economy. You can do anything you want in life. You can crash your plane in the arctic and die of exposure. Your destiny is in your hands. El Remolon rocks. He released a free album of b-sides on the ZZK website recently. You can find this track and others there.

DJ DRAMA PRESENTS: CAM’RON – BOSS OF ALL BOSSES 2   2 comments

This is the new Cam’Ron Gangsta Grillz mixtape by DJ Drama. It’s a little harder edged hip hop than we usually post but Cam’s one of Plan B’s favorite MC’s so it’s only fitting. It’s the sequel to the first Boss of All Bosses Gangsta Grillz mixtape which you can still get here. Both are dope. Who knows, maybe Diplo’ll start remixing Cam now too..

Boss of All Bosses 2

The first installment..

OBSCURE DANCEHAL SONG OF THE DAY: RED RAT ft DPP – HOT GAL HOLIDAY   1 comment

RED RAT ft DPP – HOT GAL HOLIDAY (zshare)

Yes, we still want to talk about obscure dancehall tracks because someone needs to. Would it be right to leave such a triumphant song as this in the dustbin of history? NO! It would be wrong. The future needs to know about this song. Your children’s children’s children, as they wipe the dust off the majestic ruins of the internet will uncover this song which they will take with them on their trip to the mysterious planet of Pandora where they fight blue people. Red Rat may not be understood now. He may not be understood in 50 years. One day however, in the Hover Museum of Dancehall Arts, this song will be the main attraction. It will be up there with the dancehall Mona Lisa and the dancehall The Thinker. Red Rat will be the dancehall Leonardo Da Vinci and they will make a book called “The Red Rat Code”. Dancehall. It’s called Hot Gal Holiday. Everyone wants to be on a hot gal holiday. Let us consider some video evidence of Red Rat’s genius:

That one was ok. But not more than that.

Even though Stevie Wonder is not dead, he still dug a grave so he could roll around in it.

Ha! Like Red Rat is the dancehall artist to reach out to the heartland of America. Well…actually, he is. That’s enough of fucking Red Rat. He’s the worst.

SONG OF THE DAY: SODA N’ SUDS – FUCK HOUSE (DJ MANAIA MASHED UP STYLE REMIX)   3 comments

SODA N’ SUDS – FUCK HOUSE (DJ MANAIA MASHED UP STYLE REMIX) (box)

This song is not new. We’re not gonna play pretend. We’re gonna get down to business. Dj Manaia business. This kid is great because he’s actually an adult. He makes crazy tribal shit that’s a little bit kuduro, a little bit uk funky, a dash of b-more and a spoonful of other shit that maybe you will think of when you listen to this song. Also he is from Portugal which is a land of contrasts. This is the kind of music that would be played in Walmer Castle. It looks like this:

We are going to have to buy Walmer Castle.

TOP POSTS OF 2009!   Leave a comment

Why? Because we wanted to wait until 2009 was over and nobody cared about it to highlight what you, the readers, thought were our most important posts. This is what you were into:

1. SONG OF THE DAY: DENNIS DJ – JONATHAN Ii

That song came out in like 1912 and soldiers sang it on the way to the front during WWI. Why did you want it so much?

2. A FUCK YOU EVERYBODY SONG OF THE DAY: MAJOR LAZER ft SANTIGOLD & MR LEXX – HOLD THE LINE

Ok, that makes more sense.

3. SONG OF THE DAY: TIFA – SPELL IT OUT

This was a pretty good song too. A fun song for fun times. Tifa = best female dancehall MC.

4. SONG OF THE DAY: DIZZEE RASCAL – STAND UP TALL (RADIOCLIT REMIX) (SCHLACHTHOFBRONX REMIX)

Nice! This was one of our favourite this year. Glad people in some part of the world agree because it was not popular in Toronto. In fact, we are the only people that played it that we know of. Schlachthofbronx are easily in the running for top producers of 2009 in our books.

5. SONG OF THE DAY: RYE RYE FT MIA – BANG (BURAKA SOM SISTEMA CARNIVAL REMIX)

Ok, we get this one too. In retrospect this song is not that great but Rye Rye and M.I.A. and Buraka Som Sistema all had a great year so that makes sense. Buraka Som Sistema did a concert in Toronto that was the best concert of 2009.

6. SONG OF THE DAY: ALCIDES – VIOLETA (EL REMOLON REMIX)

The Dirty Frenchman loves this track. It is basicaly the climax of his latest mix. It is like his anthem. It tells the story of his life. And he doesn’t even know what the song is about.

7. ANOTHER ATL HIP HOP SONG OF THE DAY: GUCCI MANE FEAT. YO GOTTI – CHUU

This makes sense because we all know that we’re now allowed to like Gucci Mane. Big Gucci Mane year it was that 2oo9. He has a mixtape with Diplo out today. Different than you thought it would be.

8. OSBCURE DANCEHALL SONG OF THE DAY: WARD 21 – PRESIDENT OF HOOCHIE LAND

Here is another golden oldie that you guys just wanted to read about. It was popular when Teddy Roosevelt was president of the USA. In fact, it was written to celebrate his inauguration.

9. SONG OF THE DAY: OJ DA JUICEMAN – FUCK WIT ME DAWG

The people were searching for OJ Da Juiceman in droves. He touched their hearts and opened their minds.

10. WALMER CONVENIENCE PRESENTS:

That was a pretty good party. Check out the picks here.

Well that is what you were clicking in 2009. That is what people were clamouring for.  Your have looked into the mirror. What do you see?

YOU’RE NOW ALLOWED TO LIKE GUCCI MANE   6 comments

Fuck, we feel so vindicated. This whole time we’ve been bumping Gucci Mane mixtapes and Zaytoven beats actually enjoying it, ignorant to all the people laughing at us behind our backs. Yes we sincerely liked his shit, well, Plan B did anyway. Today as we were surfing to find some new music a blog entry popped up, the author proclaiming that after much effort to the contrary he like many others is reluctantly but inevitably becoming a Gucci fan. He goes on to say that “Gucci Mane is the kind of dumb-it-down rapper that probably sets hip-hop back a couple years” and until recently “had him swimming with Plies in the bottom of my toilet, just waiting until I digested my empanadas so they could both get dumped on and flushed“. Despite this rudimentary somewhat disgusting metaphor, a recent Douster remixed track has finally made it okay for him and all of us to like Gucci…albeit 50% ironically which “still makes me (and presumably you, reader) cooler than genuine Gucci fans“, admittedly that last part was just jokey (half jokey?) but fuck, that’s still some heavy back-handed complimenting!!! As is the case with so many music fans, it was ultimately the Diplo/Gucci remix mixtape dropping soon that’s causing the battleship of people’s entrenched taste to turn around. So if you’re wondering what joint in particular made one of the many blogging musical zeitgeist eschew Gucci’s merits no matter how retroactive and contrite, click below.

Gucci Mane – No No No (Douster remix)

Here’s the catalyst to 2010’s apparent massive rap paradigm shift that changed it all and allowed you the common blog surfer to like Gucci Mane and not be branded a dirty non-intellectual anti-patriot race-traitor because of it…and there’s apparently a whole mixtape of it to come…welcome aboard!!

Gucci Mane – Danger’s Not a Stranger (Diplo remix)

If you like those you can get more here here here, and here, unfortunately not remixed by Diplo but still good…or so we thought…

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