Archive for January 2010

OBSCURE DANCEHALL VIDEO PARTY!   1 comment

After making fun of Pamputae in this Charly Black video because we didn’t know who the fuck she was and her name was funny (yeah, it’s fucking funny) we decided to explore the fascinating world of B, C and D list dancehall stars. So here it is, the dancehall video party featuring only people that you are likely not to know. Enjoy and drink responsibly. We will not be coming along with you for the ride with our witty commentary.

CHAT PATOIS!   1 comment

Charly Black – Chat Patois (zshare)

Can you chat patois? You probably can’t because you’re white. You’re all like “Pardon me papa. I know not what those Jamaicans are saying over there.” It’s ok to be white. The Dirty Frenchman is white and only half the people he meets think he’s a fucking idiot. There are lots of important white people like Jay Leno and George W. Bush who have risen to the top of their professions without uttering a single “pussyhole” or “chi chi man”. It’s not too late to be like them. Or you can be like Charly Black, who you admire like the uncle that never respected the way you dress. You could make this classic:

You could play yourself on Wednesday April 29th 2009 and feature stars like Pamputae(?) and Jigzagula(?). Or you could make this:

You could make all your songs about how you’re gonna get money. No not really. Because you would also make this banger:

THE REVENGE OF SCHLACHTHOFBRONX   6 comments

Schlachthofbronx – We Run This (zshare)

This song rocks your mom so hard she had a miscarriage. Schlachthofbronx are like “Yeah, we made a song so awesome that you aren’t gonna have a baby brother anymore.” Looks like you’ll still be the favourite. In other news, they have another song out too that kills it an is responsible for a shitty video:

Not even good shitty. But good song.

HAITI   Leave a comment

Going through our extensive music coffers it occurs to us that we don’t play much from Haiti on a regular basis. Yes, we play some French music, one of us being french, but a French lyric does not a Haitian song make. For everyone there going through the worst shit imaginable if there’s a redeeming factor it’s that everyone’s finally paying attention. For everyone else, rest in peace.

Haiti hold ya head.

Posted January 20, 2010 by walmerconvenience in Uncategorized

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SONG OF THE DAY: EL REMOLON – MODESELEKTOR vs CALLE 13   Leave a comment

EL REMOLON – MODESELEKTOR vs CALLE 13 (zshare)

This is the reggaeton song that will play when your plane crashes in the Arctic and you are scrambling to do anything you can before you die of exposure. Yes. Usually we are all about party time at Walmer but this is a nice little change. It’s ok to be serious sometimes.  It’s ok to wear glasses and talk about the economy. You can do anything you want in life. You can crash your plane in the arctic and die of exposure. Your destiny is in your hands. El Remolon rocks. He released a free album of b-sides on the ZZK website recently. You can find this track and others there.

DJ DRAMA PRESENTS: CAM’RON – BOSS OF ALL BOSSES 2   2 comments

This is the new Cam’Ron Gangsta Grillz mixtape by DJ Drama. It’s a little harder edged hip hop than we usually post but Cam’s one of Plan B’s favorite MC’s so it’s only fitting. It’s the sequel to the first Boss of All Bosses Gangsta Grillz mixtape which you can still get here. Both are dope. Who knows, maybe Diplo’ll start remixing Cam now too..

Boss of All Bosses 2

The first installment..

OBSCURE DANCEHAL SONG OF THE DAY: RED RAT ft DPP – HOT GAL HOLIDAY   1 comment

RED RAT ft DPP – HOT GAL HOLIDAY (zshare)

Yes, we still want to talk about obscure dancehall tracks because someone needs to. Would it be right to leave such a triumphant song as this in the dustbin of history? NO! It would be wrong. The future needs to know about this song. Your children’s children’s children, as they wipe the dust off the majestic ruins of the internet will uncover this song which they will take with them on their trip to the mysterious planet of Pandora where they fight blue people. Red Rat may not be understood now. He may not be understood in 50 years. One day however, in the Hover Museum of Dancehall Arts, this song will be the main attraction. It will be up there with the dancehall Mona Lisa and the dancehall The Thinker. Red Rat will be the dancehall Leonardo Da Vinci and they will make a book called “The Red Rat Code”. Dancehall. It’s called Hot Gal Holiday. Everyone wants to be on a hot gal holiday. Let us consider some video evidence of Red Rat’s genius:

That one was ok. But not more than that.

Even though Stevie Wonder is not dead, he still dug a grave so he could roll around in it.

Ha! Like Red Rat is the dancehall artist to reach out to the heartland of America. Well…actually, he is. That’s enough of fucking Red Rat. He’s the worst.

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