Archive for December 18, 2009

WE HAVE MODERATE CLOUT VOL 2   5 comments

This is our big screen TV:

This is our motorbike:

WE GOT MODERATE CLOUT BITCHES!

Like we said before, we get songs sent to us to talk about on our blog because there are people out there who think we have influence on people’s tastes.  We get emails like this:

Hello Walmer Convenience

Low Life Inc. here with some great music from Skinnerbox with a 2 cuts from their debut album King of Spades & Marmalades on Berlin’s Doxa Records, an older cut and one unreleased.

There’s pics, cover art and a full press release in the press kit below…please post pics & mp3s.

And then continue like this:

The particular view on a musical future might have been considerably different when Olaf Hilgenfeld (Berlin) met Iftah Gabbai (Jerusalem) for first sessions in 2004. The piano player Hilgenfeld used the accordion that time mainly, whilst Gabbai was using all instruments available, a computer was among those more by chance. Only one year later the duo Skinnerbox played regularly on such uplifting, innovative off-partys that came up in the new Techno generation again. That was just the beginning. Skinnerbox have developed a purely electronically composed and performed music (partly featuring vocals by Elle_P) – that is not based on loops but improvised Techno inspired House and Minimal House. The roles in the duo are clearly settled: Olaf Hilgenfeld – Moog synthesizer, Iftah Gabbai – hardware drum machines, Max/MSP und Ableton Live. All these distinct impacts and effects can be heard on their various releases from the last two years, but far better in their live sets. Skinnerbox are an experience, taking you on expedition with paralyzing Minimal, breaking House, hard-edged Techno- Jazz, and ambient Electronica futurism.

It was a desire to eternalize this play- & colorful diversity, often just caused by the moment, as entire homogeneity. Thus, they needed to leave temporarily their environmental Techno and Minimal House scapes. ”King Of Spades And Marmalades” – the result – is a Jazz Opus wrapped into a Disco suitcase. It is a reminiscence as well as going far ahead of daily musical habits, shown not at least by the order of tracks, do not starting with a stunning hit of the album, but with 20 minutes of challenge.

Thanks Again,

Low Life Inc.

And then follow up like this:

Hello again,

Just checking back with you to see if you received the letter below, would love for you to post something on the release if you’re into it.

Let us know either way.

Thanks,

LowLifeInc.

Sorry for all the text. This is Walmer, not English Class. Now this is all good and polite and we thank them for thinking we have clout. Moderate clout. But these guys must never read this blog because if they did then they would know that this is not Walmeresque at all:

Skinnerbox – Naked Man (direct link)

Really Low Life Inc? Is this the kind of thing you think we are gonna boost? This doesn’t fit in with anything we have ever written about ever. And not just that. This is a terrible song. Good luck to you Skinnerbox with your “jazz opus wrapped in a disco suitcase”. Weird Al fans are gonna be all over this. Plus who writes for you Low Life Inc? What does “Only one year later the duo Skinnerbox played regularly on such uplifting, innovative off-partys that came up in the new Techno generation again.” Can we quote you on that? Oops we just did. Well thanks still. It’s the gesture that is important. Keep the music coming but can you at least send us shit we might remotely be interested in? This one is a better one Low Life Inc. sent us:

Zoot Woman – We Won’t Break (Popular Damage Remix) (direct link)

BANGS IS FOR REAL BITCHES   Leave a comment

No country for old irony. Donn’t forget to visit www.bangs8.com. http://www.bangs9.com is some fake shit.

Posted December 18, 2009 by walmerconvenience in Uncategorized

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SONG OF THE DAY: TIFA – SICK   Leave a comment

Tifa – Sick (zshare)

This is a bit of a different sounding danchall track from Tifa. But then she always does stuff that is a bit different. In fact we will go out and say that she is the best female dancehall artist right now. Yeah that’s right. Sorry Lady Saw but your time was up a long time ago. What will you take when you back to school? Accounting? Anyway this is not the first time we’ve featured Tifa on here and it won’t be the last. Hey, why don’t we watch some videos together?

Ladies, don’t you hate when your boyfriend has a shitty car and picks you up and everyone sees. The Dirty Frenchman has a bike.

There are two problems here. If your song is called I’m Leaving then it should show you leaving and not kicking the man out. Also, lip syncing is tough but not that tough.

That song was called Kitty Police. Nothing else needs to be said. Tifa is in a cage. She was arrested by the Kitty Police.

That was Tifa and Timberlee who is ok. Tifa is way hotter.

Posted December 18, 2009 by walmerconvenience in Uncategorized

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