Where do you listen to music? The girl’s bathroom? The school playground? You’re a creep. Even if you’re a girl it’s kinda creepy unless you have a kid and the kid is playing on the playground and you happen to be there to look after the little fucker. But then even if that is the [...]

Separated at birth? Haha! Anyway, we got some hot shit in store for you either today or tomorrow but in the meantime we got more music for your stupid asses. We always need to be shoveling out music like a bunch of labourers in a salt mine. GIVE US FUCKING HUMAN RIGHTS! Anyway. Let’s get [...]

You took fucking drugs. You went to a museum. You couldn’t understand what the fuck was going on. You threw up everywhere. Everyone was pissed. They banned you from the museum for life. Now you can’t get fucking art smart. You walked down the fucking street. You slipped on a piece of runny dog shit. [...]

Do you like bass? Do you like the sea? Well then you should take these fucking songs and go to the sea and listen to them and stay out too long and get a sunburn and then do that again several fucking times and get skin cancer and go to the hospital and when you [...]

What is best? Shit or piss down your neck? Shit would choke you but piss would sting. Sometimes life gives you hard choices. Shit tastes like shit but piss tastes like piss. Best of times, worst of times. Charles Dickens. Think carefully about it. Anyway, let’s play some tunes. It’s the fucking long weekend in [...]

Hey hey! My name is Afrojacks. I invented moombahton. Fuck all of y’all. I don’t drink milk. I pour Crystal™ on my fucking cereal. I eat fucking Caviar Pops. They’re like Corn Pops but they taste like fucking fish and cost $2000 per box. That’s my life. That’s Afrojack. I’m working on a track with [...]

Ah, Paris in the springtime. When soundclouds fuck and have babies. This picture depicts what happens to Paris when soundclouds fuck and doves cry. The Eiffel Tower falls down and then no one can go up it and they just have to use it as a bridge to cross the fucking river. If you are [...]

Briefcase mysteries in a Pulp Fiction style

Hey fuckers! I’m Li-fuck! I mean I’m Bow Wow, just Bow Wow. What’s happening? Do you ever wish that you could be Like Mike? So do I! And this one time I got these magic shoes that made me play like him at the basketball. True story! There was this other movie where I was [...]

Here the fuck it is! FUCKMATAZZ VOL II: MOOMBAHFUCK or THE FUCKET LIST. TAKE YOUR PICK! It can be what you want it to be. One thing that it is is proof that Walmer Convenience murders moombahton like your mom murdered your dad and then told you that he left you because he doesn’t love [...]