WHO ARE THESE MOTHAFUKAS?

We are the people of Walmer Convenience. We are three friends that are tied by the fact that we used to get drunk in a convenience store in Toronto. It’s true. We don’t lie. What is important is that we love music. We fucking love it. We have loved music all our lives and our lives revolve around it. One day, a day that will live in infamy, the store closed and was sold to people who turned it into a fucking Italian frozen yogurt cafe. Yes! Of all things. What could we do? We needed a place to drink booze and play music. Sure we had our apartments and could have easily chilled there but what was the fun in that? People chill in apartments all the time. Not cool anymore. Played out. Then we remembered that two of us could dj and that the other one had a way with people that could not be beat. A plan started to form. Ideas were tossed around and finally the moment was ready for the emergence of WALMER CONVENIENCE! Named after the historic store we grew up in we began to move into the party business in Toronto. We play in venues all over town and if you see one of our flyers you best be ready to get your ears kicked in because we serve up the hottest shit around. Guaranteed.  At our parties you could hear dancehall, electro, hip hop, booty, kuduro, italo disco, b-more,  roots reggae, ghettotech, disco, cumbia… fuck we could go on and on. On this blog we’re gonna feature our events, our music, tunes, etc. But first, we would like to feature ourselves:

Above is The Dirty Frenchman. His name and his appearance describe him exactly. He is a drunk, dirty asshole. This guy will kiss your best friend if he is dating you. Don’t trust him. He’s horrible. He has an apartment but lives like a homeless person. Washing optional if you know what we mean. He tries to cover it with expensive cologne but we all know the truth. For all his deficiencies he redeems himself by being a scholar, a fine judge of wine and one of the most knowledgeable music experts in the world. This guy knows fucking everything. He can pull a song out of his filthy french ass in two shakes of a stick. From any genre. He can dj like the wind too. One second you’ll hear dancehall, the next he’ll be on some electro tip, and before you know it he just got kuduro all over your face. This man is no musical purist. This man hates one style djs and works continuously for their demise. His mission is to cause mayhem wherever he is. Don’t invite him to your house.

Plan B is a man who knows how to work hip hop like your mom works every one in the neighbourhood. No one can defeat him when it comes to hip hop. Bring your fuckin smart ass friend who thinks he knows a bunch of shit. Introduce him to Plan B. Your friend will get embarassed. They’ll look stupid and it will be your fault because you made them go against Plan B. He’s been djing for years. Way more than The Dirty Frenchman. He’s much more stable too. The Dirty Frenchman will be puking on himself and Plan B will be just chillin and smokin’ some weed laughing at him. They’re actually a pretty funny pair the two of them. Plan B is tall and The Dirty Frenchman is short. Plan B has long hair and The Dirty Frenchman is bald.  Two opposites. But it works. Unbeatable.

Sto is the face of WALMER CONVENIENCE. He takes care of business. He wheels. He deals. Gets shit done. He’s just nicer than Plan B and The Dirty Frenchman who are both music snobs. All three of them will go to a place and Plan B and The Dirty Frenchman will be all not talkative and shit, eying people and Sto will just break the ice like he hates skating. Without him, Plan B and The Dirty Frenchman would be spinning music in their bedrooms. Also he’s the beef settler. Plan B and The Dirty Frenchman are egomaniacs. They butt heads sometimes as egomaniacs do. Sto stops the violence. Keeps things positive.

Anyway, that’s the story of us.

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